NOT TODAY, SATAN. Cognitive Relax Strips
NOT TODAY, SATAN. Cognitive Relax Strips
For when prison isn't an option.
The group chat is on fire. Your inbox is a dumpster fire. Someone just replied-all. NOT TODAY, SATAN. is a strawberry-peppermint strip that dissolves right on your tongue, made with L-theanine from green tea, GABA, and vitamin B6 for the days when you need a time out before somebody else does.
One strip. Deep breath. Put the phone down.
What's in it (the useful stuff)
- L-theanine (50 mg), an amino acid naturally found in green tea
- GABA (25 mg), a compound your body naturally makes
- Vitamin B6 (6 mg, 353% DV)
- Strawberry-peppermint flavor, sweetened with monk fruit and stevia
Why it's here
- Supports cognitive function*
Made for: reply-all survivors, Monday mornings, family group chats, holiday dinners, and every day that's trying you personally.
How to use (dissolve. done.)
Place one oral strip on your tongue and allow it to dissolve. Do not exceed 1 strip per day.
The details
Strawberry-peppermint flavor · 30 oral strips · 30 servings · Made in India · For adults 18+
Your strips come in a FUGLY tin, and each strip is individually sealed in a standard packet.
Ingredients: Green Tea L-Theanine (50 mg), GABA (25 mg), Vitamin B6 (6 mg).
Other ingredients: Pullulan, Mannitol, Cellulose, Strawberry Flavor, Lecithin, Malic Acid, Monk Fruit Extract, Pectin, Erythritol, Peppermint Flavor, Steviol Glycosides.
The boring but important part: Do not exceed the recommended dose. Pregnant or nursing mothers, children under the age of 18, and individuals with a known medical condition should consult a physician before using this or any dietary supplement. Keep out of reach of children. Do not use if the safety seal is damaged or missing. Store in a cool, dry place.
*This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.